A few days ago, I wrote about how I still miss my Mum who passed away last year after fighting Leukaemia.
Yesterday, this grief was manifested again when my 8 year old decided to write a letter to Grandma.
My daughter had been looked after by my Mum from the age of 2 – 5 whilst I was away at work during the day and was very attached to her.
Her letter brought tears to my eyes and I realise that whilst I have been dealing with my grief, I have not really dealt with hers.
The hardest thing I have ever had to do was to walk into her room the morning my Mum died and tell her that her beloved Grandma had passed away. We had just been home overseas and my Mum seemed to be doing better. Jadyn was happy as she really wanted her Grandma and Grandad to attend her First Communion.
When I walked into her room last year and told her ‘Baby, Grandma just died’, she burst into tears and said ‘Why? She was getting better’. I broke down too and we held each other and cried.
They know that Grandma went to Heaven and I told Jadyn and Ethan that Grandma is a star in the sky and she is the brightest one, so ever so often we look up into the night sky and ‘see’ Grandma!
Jadyn misses her Grandma terribly because she was ‘Grandma’s princess’. She bravely had her First Communion this year without Grandma but after she was ready, she told me ‘I wish Grandma was here to see me’. I could only tell her ‘Grandma can see you and she thinks you are beautiful’.
Jadyn wrote her letter to Grandma and so did Ethan (it was dictated by him and written by Jadyn). He was very insistent that she didn’t forget the xxxx (kisses)
Jadyn was also very sure that Grandma would reply because Grandma loves her so much.
I had no words.
But much like the Tooth Fairy story, I took the letters and left in its place a bunch of Jasmine without the children noticing.
They are content that Grandma has not forgotten them and left them her favourite flowers.
We are going to make a Pot Pourri with the flowers.
Dear Lovely Grandma
I felt heartbroken and sad when you died but I didn’t want you to suffer here. Everybody misses you loads and loves you especially Grandad.
P.S. I have been a bit naughty. Sorry!
Lots of love
Grandma, we know you are the brightest star in the sky and we will always love you and miss you.