I can’t get them out of my head

I was definitely looking forward to the weekend – I was going to be away for 1 night (only) from my kids and the house and the mess and the crying and the squabbling and the telltale(ing) and everything else. Bliss!!

I was actually looking forward to the Tube journey alone, the train journey alone and the weekend away alone. Well, not really alone but I was going to visit relatives up north, out in the country – but with no young children.

I could actually plug in my earphones and listen to music in peace – without sharing one of the earphones with one of the kids or having CBeebies or Nick Jr. blaring in the background. Or even worse – some annoying game on the DS turned up full volume. Bliss again!!

Or so I thought!

I could not wait to run out of the door. I said my goodbyes and wiped away a tiny tear (Was I bonkers?) I put it down to my elder daughter behaving like I was going away forever.

I made my way to the Tube station and felt pretty much alone. That’s a good thing , isn’t it? Just what I was looking for, wasn’t it?

Apparently it wasn’t. All the way I couldn’t help thinking how the kids would have enjoyed the ride. Even when I reached the train station, I was looking into shops to see if I could get them something and kept thinking of what each one would like.

In the train, I took out my earphones (lovely pink ones with Swarovski crystals) plugged them in and began reading on my Kindle (a rare treat, during the day) and as I passed the towns and countryside, I still kept thinking how the children would have enjoyed gazing out of the windows or eating the chocolate bar that I didn’t have to share!

I missed them – their chatter, the squabbling, the spilling of juice and water and most of all I missed the noise (ok, well I am responsible for some of it – when I try and be heard above the din) I can quite proudly announce that I do not need a megaphone!

It seemed that there was an extension of me that was missing, make that 3 extensions.

Even at my relative’s house, I missed them terribly and found myself calling them (very often to find out if they had eaten, slept , played and yes even been to the loo!!

I know they would have loved the dog, the chickens and basically everything about the place.

Why didn’t I take them? Well, it was supposed to be a working weekend and they would have got in the way. They still did – technically speaking.

Anyway there was still the night – this was what I was going to enjoy. One night with no child to wake up and come to my bedroom or my bed! I would have a late night and sleep right through till morning. But come the night and again I got up in the wee hours of morning wondering if they had slept properly and whether my little one had missed cuddling up.

Come Sunday and I was ready to complete the work and run home – to the mess and the squabbling and the yelling (that’s me!) and  most of all my 3 children – to give them a hug and have lots of cuddles and kisses.

So the object of the weekend was a big fail as I spent time trying to be with them while far away.

Next time, I will just take them along.

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