”We’ve had to remove your womb – you’ve had a hysterectomy”.
Possibly the worst news a woman can hear. At that time it didn’t register. When my doctor told me these words, I didn’t pay much attention to it.
I possibly at that time didn’t want any more children. I had 3. It was with the last one that I had to undergo emergency hysterectomy to save my life as I bled out. 16 litres of blood they said. I was unresponsive for 2 minutes. Dead for 2 minutes.
So, when I awoke after 7 days of being unconscious, and I was informed about the complications, I didn’t really register the seriousness of the situation. I was probably on too many sedatives to think clearly.
It didn’t register till very recently. When people announced their pregnancies and possibly most of all when my littlest went off to school full-time. I had no baby at home.
I would have loved to have a baby at home. Well, maybe not. But at least I’d loved to have had the option.
Now there isn’t one. I can’t have a child.
Yes, I’ve lived my life and am not young anymore and I probably would not have had another baby. But I would have loved to have the option. To at least think about it. To talk about it. To consider it.
Life throws some strange things one’s way and it makes one think.
Would I have done things differently? Probably – in a lot of situations.
But there are times when life gives you no choice. It is out of your control.
And the situation you find yourself in is probably not one you would have chosen for yourself.
And you have no choice but to carry on and make the most of the situation. And you can choose to do either of two things – wallow in it or change.
Wallow and die a little each day.
Or change and see the world in a new light. To give thanks for the things you have. To wonder in the little things. To live a little more each day.
Not to look at the past and what might have been.
But to look forward to the future and what will be.
I may have no womb but I have 3 lovely children.
And that’s all that matters.