The day I awoke and could not speak – Part 2

As I lay there defeated in so much as I could not move or speak, I felt tears stream down my cheeks more because I of the anger I felt at not being able to communicate.

The physiotherapist came in and helped me sit up but I fell back again.

I gritted my teeth and willed myself to sit – I had to see my children.

And I managed to sit for about 10 seconds. On my own. An achievement for me.

I tried to stand but fell back. My legs would not support me. Worse than that it seemed that I could not remember how to walk. My co-ordination was gone.

There was a chair not even a metre away from the bed but I could not walk to it.

I still could not talk so I could not tell them how I felt or what I wanted.

I could nod my head to say ‘Yes’ or ‘No’. That’s all!

When it was time for my husband and mother in law to leave, I kept indicating I didn’t want them to go. I didn’t want to stay in the hospital.

Alone.

Helpless.

Incommunicative.

I cried.

But them staying was not an option. I was in the ITU and my children were at home and needed looking after.

I was still being fed by a pipe.

That afternoon, they decided to move me to the chair to get my circulation going and to get me moving a bit.

I was lifted in a patient lift from the bed to the chair. One of the most humiliating experiences of my life.

A patient lift involves a piece of fabric being put under a patient and then suspending the patient in the air to transport them from bed to chair or one place to another.

I was totally at the mercy of the staff. They helped me to the chair and I had to be strapped in as I could not sit unsupported.

I could only sit there for about 10 – 15 minutes as I got tired and had to be transported back – in the patient lift.

It was soon to get worse. That night was the worst night of my life…

You may also want to read – The day I died and lived to tell the tale and The day I awoke and could not speak

9 thoughts on “The day I awoke and could not speak – Part 2

    1. Yes though have long term problems like hypertension. It was terrifying especially having no recollection of anything that had happened.

  1. Sounds horrible, I hope you are better now. Hospitals are marvellous places, but often care depends on the expertise of the individual consultants and the engagement of the nursing staff.

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